By Pathum Punchihewa
Again, Love Guru is craving to share the feature column; he says he wants to tell you something important.
Let me start the article with a tale of two students who fell in love.
The first story begins with a teen who was about to face the GCA Ordinary Level examination. He had vibrant dreams for his future and he had begun to work towards them. One day, he saw a girl in his class and his first feeling was, where had she been before and why had he not noticed her? Yes, she is beautiful with the core meaning of that word and she made jaws drop in each and every boy in the class.
After some time, this boy and girl became friends. They both wanted something more than a friendship but nobody wanted to step in, but one day the girl gave him the nod that she might say a ‘yes’; if he asks her but she never made the first move. Well, that’s how girls act and our friend was on cloud number nine!
That night for the first time he started to think about their future. He started living in a fantasy world. And he realized that he was about to face one of the most important exams of his life and this was a point to make the right decision. He knew that he was not capable of running a love affair parallel to his studies and tons of extracurricular activities but still he couldn’t make up his mind to give her up.
When the morning hit, he made his decision. “It’s a red light, first things first, let’s be friends and we can think about ‘you, me and love’ after we complete our exams”. Well, as he expected the friendship came to a port and he was out. Then our friend faced the examination and he scored the best results, and today he is a hotshot. And at the same time he broke up with his ‘dream love’, cute girl in the class, she began dating another friend and well, the end was pretty sad. The friend was a bright kid before but he didn’t get through his GCE ordinary level exam. Even today he has not met his true potentials and the worst part is that the girl he was involved with wasn’t his dream one!
Now, what is the core meaning of this tale? Never trust a girl? NO. The story tells the difference between fantasy world and real life. The differene between day dreams and targets...
Some may say that ‘School love’ or ‘teen love’ is something very fascinating and something that anybody should have a taste of. Do you really believe this?
No way, kids don't know what true love is... But, how many people you know have dated in high-school and are currently happily married to those same people they dated? I personally know about 2 or 3 couples very well that are now happy after being high school sweethearts. Did they just like each other as teens and grow to love each other? When did the "like" change to "love?"
Love is something that is liberated from time and space. I don’t believe that age is really a problem for true love. But it is something very tricky. During your schooling days you may feel just an attraction and you may lose it when you grow up; this might develop from ‘attraction’ to ‘love’ but that’s not truly affirmative.
“In order to build a strong, loving relationship you need to choose a partner who treats you as an equal. The best loving relationships are built with people you can talk to and laugh with ease. Love is not a feeling that is "forced" nor should you have to pretend to be somebody else to get the approval of someone you fancy.”
Now as Love Guru, I believe in the colorfulness of love but my concern is ‘are you ready to start a love affair while schooling and risk your future?’. If you are an extraordinarily talented boy or a girl who can manage and balance everything while running an affair, that’s another story but this is almost rare.
My mother always said that ‘everything has a right time’. You should study during the time for studies and you should be a lover when the time comes. Otherwise your life will be meaningless. She said to me, ‘Don’t wait for your 25s to love a girl, it is a waste of your precious young age,’ and she was right.
Now, are you ready to make the right decision my dear little brothers and sisters? Never sacrifice a bright future for mere dazzling feelings.
Published on Youth Mirror - Daily Mirror (15 July 2010)
By Pathum Punchihewa