Stories of the open road

Tales of a Vagabond...

As the human being is a social creature we all want to be among friends, we all want to make friends around us. Especially as a teen, making a whole clan of friends is not unusual at all. But the problem starts with selecting friends and suitable friends.

Teenage is the most potential epoch for tuning up the plans for future career, morals and ambitions. But all of one’s future dreams can be jeopardized to by another person with negative ideas who is close. And that breach is a common fact nowadays for teenagers and even youngsters who are stabilizing careers.

Counsellors always say “Associate with people who think positively”.  This is the very advice everybody should consider as a precept. We have to always mix with people who have different attitudes. We have to work with people who carry different ideologies. But if you allow those each and every idea or an attitude to penetrate you, without your knowledge eventually you will be a victim of negative feeds.      

This usually ignites problems between parents and children. Parents always want to gain control over their children’s social life and they are always ready to filter their children’s network of friend. Children assume that parents try to assault their ‘newly found’ personal life and parents beware about the hazards which their beloved child may face through the new and awkward friends list. And this circle goes on and on for generations.

Considering friends with negative feedbacks, we all must have experiences. Friendship with people who are scared to start anything and are afraid to make decisions on their own is a threat to an individual with high ambitions it's the same with friendship of people who think ‘you cannot do a thing’. All of them create attractive reasons to justify their inabilities and explain oneself on behalf to prove their accuracy.

In many cases we find those in the second type among anyone’s friends list. Sometimes they are just ‘friend pretending’ people and try to pull your strings for reasons like jealousy. But most of the time they don’t have the free will and they assume that ‘they, themselves cannot do a thing’ and simply impute it to your account.

Sometimes it is hard to close a friendship with somebody. But if you feel that a friendship with somebody is a menace to your free will and ambition, you’d better take off. Of course we should help people, especially friends. There are always limits. You cannot carry the burden of another person forever.

As a good friend you can teach your friends to be positive and act positive. If you both are lucky, under your influence your friend also will start to become a positive thinker. But if it isn’t working, the best way for the sake of your own health is to  ‘vacate’.

On the other hand, if you are always the negative thinking ‘always pulling back’ old bull, it’s your time to change your perspective. Otherwise your beloved friends will decide that you don’t have an ability to walk with them towards the future. Don’t blame them, they did their best. Now it’s your call.

Positive thinking is not something very hard to achieve or rare to find. All you have to do is to be brave enough to change the pattern of your thinking. Think positively, act positively and talk positively. Then you will be a fragrance among your friends emitting positive feelings.

 

- Pathum Punchihewa

Published on Youth Mirror - Daily Mirror (18th February, 2010)


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