Stories of the open road

“It was the Ice age. Mammoths and other dangerous saber tooth predators were ruling the earth.  The entire known world was frozen. “Scrat” the ‘saber-toothed’ prehistoric squirrel is busy, not with the geological or climatic havoc or with the Polar Ice cap melting down or furious, gigantic dinosaurs or the continental drift, but with his avid obsession of Oak-nuts. In fact the last remaining Oak-nut or the ‘Acorn’ as we assume... Scrat never hesitated to risk his life on any dangerous situation, in any life and death condition for the sake of defending the Oak-nut!”

“Now my sweetheart, I believe you can understand the passion and love Scrat bore for the ‘last remaining Acorn’, if you are also a fan of Ice Age franchise, which I’m sure you are you would be able to construe his almost unbreakable love towards the acorn. If you can appreciate his will that makes him walk towards a roaring dinosaur or beyond the edge of 1000 feet high ice peak, well then you can see a certain percentage of my love I bear about you in my heart” said the boy to the girl!

Now maybe the Love Guru was the boy or maybe Love Guru was listening to this “how much do you love me” conversation, still it made a good point for an article, ‘Romance 101’.

Love Guru is ready to introduce two simple ground rules. Number one, never throw just “I Love you” s to your lady love without feeling without being aware of the exact emotion.  Feminine creatures have this holy or maybe malignant gift of ‘sensing your emotions’ when you pronounce ‘I love you’. If you really didn’t mean it and you just say it for the sake of the relationship, boy she will understand it in a micro second and in the next micro second you will be a witness of thunderstorms and artillery strikes!

Rule number two is the entire spirit of Love Guru and ‘romance 101’. Be creative in your love story and when you want to express your true love towards your sweetheart, just think for a moment for a creative explanation. Do not worry; love will make you a poet as ‘Dostoevsky’ said. And your sweet explanation will make her understand your point you want to establish plus make her cheerful plus make you the sweetest lover of the entire world in front of her eyes. It’s definitely worth, isn’t it? Love guru always vote yes!

Love Guru aka Pathum Punchihewa

Published on  Daily Mirror (24th February 2011)